Chapter 10

Read from the start here: Chapter One


The clock upon the dashboard showed a quarter past nine and Sara’s stomach felt increasingly uneasy. On the other side of the window, the city she barely remembered passed by in unfamiliar chunks. Shortly after they had left the hospital, she had been led to and sat down in some sleek, silver vehicle while Callum cheerfully told her he was driving them both to their place in a suburb not too far away. Yet as they cruised through busy streets, round multiple turns and down steep roads towards their destination, Sara realised it was the increasing anxiety behind her predicament that brought on the illness, not motion sickness.


“Cheer up, we’re nearly there.” He spoke, looking across at her from his seat at the steering wheel with forlorn eyes. “It’s just up here on the right.”


To give him credit, Callum had been trying very hard to make Sara feel at ease throughout the journey, but without knowing anything about her current life, this man was simply an unknown and she couldn’t muster up any inclination to engage him in conversation. She had chosen instead to remain quiet, leaving him to contemplate his situation and her to hers. It was during this thoughtful period when questions had begun forming, and once they started they didn’t stop.


They spewed forth like an eruption, and everything she asked herself brought on a hundred follow ups. What was she like as a person? What happened earlier? How did she get there? What was she doing? Did she have many friends? Did she have any at all? Was she a nice person? Was she satisfied with her life? Did she like where she lived? Who she lived with? Where she was from?


One question that she kept coming back to was ‘What do I do next?’ Since the accident barely an hour ago, the thought of losing everything she had ever known was the most important issue in her life. No matter what crap she had been through, no matter how bad it had gotten or how low she had felt, she desperately wanted to regain all her memories. Without them, she felt like she had wasted the first twenty six years of her life.


It wasn’t asking the impossible and a good part of her had decided it was achievable, especially as it seemed like the answers she sought were right on the tip of her tongue. It’s just that they were written in a language that she didn’t speak, that they were there but she needed some sort of key to decode them. They weren’t gone, just currently closed off to her.


Suddenly she felt completely lost and stressed in her own head. Feeling like things weren’t so hopeless was fine, but she wasn’t sure, and if her past was always going to be just out of reach, she knew it would drive her crazy. Yet the only person who could help her at all right now was currently being ignored, and she didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.


“Here we are.”


The car slowly pulled over to one side of an unassuming residential street, with terraced houses all the way along it. Unsurprisingly, she didn’t recognise it and silently sighed. The building they had parked outside of was quaint, built with clean, sandstone coloured brick and, nestled at the bottom in a small sunken porch, was a small yellow door. In front of it sat a small but perfectly manicured garden, the mix of vibrant colours and thick green shrubbery stood out amongst their neighbours.


Sara exited the vehicle, while Callum did the same. Her eyes cast interested glances over the flowers next to the pavement, and as she walked past them she took the head of a purple rose between her fingers, feeling the soft petals with her fingertips before letting it go.


“We have a gardener.” Callum spoke up with a nervous twinge in his voice. “He comes once a week, his name’s Gallan.”


She continued up the path, ignoring him, and walked up to the entrance. She grasped the handle and turned it.


Inside, the house was just as eloquent as the garden. The entrance hall had solid, hardwood floors and a staircase which felt more like a masterpiece, with a thick carved bannister and a balcony overlooking the bottom floor. Just off to the left was a living room which had been decked out with plush comfortable sofas and a massive screen on the opposite wall, while straight ahead of her were two doorways, one leading to a rather pristine kitchen and the other to a dining room. If this was where she lived, she supposed she must be doing well for herself. Speaking of which, what did she even do for a living?


“Does any of this seem familiar?” Callum shut the door behind them, eventually walking around in front of Sara with that shred of anxiousness still present. “I could show you around if you like, so you can get used to the place again.”


She threw him a quick unpleasant look and stepped into the kitchen. A few dishes had been piled up next to the sink, but apart from that the room looked spick and span. She wondered if he also employed rubber gloved as well as green fingered help. She ran her hand along the smooth marble work surface, feeling its cool touch and appreciating its beauty. The refrigerator was the next thing to catch her eye, a tall silver affair, so she pulled it open and briefly studied the contents inside. She found a pack of bacon, two sausages left from a full packet, a couple of eggs and a nearly empty carton of milk. She shut it and turned around without making a single sound to find Callum hovering near the entrance.


“Please, say something. Are you mad at me?”


“I’m just having a look.” She responded quietly.


“Look, I understand things are probably weird as hell for you right now, but I’m only trying to help. I’m here for you, you know that right?”


Silence.


“Fine, I get it, you’ve got to get through this thing on your own. If you do happen to need me for anything, even directions out of here, just ask.”


He left her be. She moved back out into the hallway. She hated this place she’d decided. Sara didn’t need to see anything else to know that she would feel incredibly uncomfortable staying here. Still, she knew she wasn’t done here yet, she still had to get some information at the very least and she wasn’t yet sure if she had anywhere else to stay or even the means to afford it. She headed towards the lounge.


The room was elegantly decorated, with the oversized sofas and a thick patterned rug dominating everything else. A small glass chandelier hung from the roof, but it was probably never used in the summer thanks to the light pouring in from the massive windows on the front wall. A fireplace took pride of place in the room, underneath yet more marble in the form of a mantelpiece. Upon it were just three photo frames, and each one had a picture of the two of them inside it, looking incredibly happy. The central one seemed to call out to her, so she studied it, picking it up in her hands and taking a good, hard look.


Callum and herself looked a little younger in it, something she had only really noticed upon glancing at her own reflection in the glass. They were smiling. She was wearing a simple, clean, white wedding dress and him a slick, black suit. It seemed they were in a rural area from the heavily green and tree filled background, but once again she was drawing an absolute blank.


“Do you remember that day at all?” Came his voice from behind.


“No.”


“It was wonderful, and you couldn’t have looked any more beautiful if you’d tried,”


“Where was the wedding?” She asked.


“In Catterington, it’s a small village where your father lives. Well, your adopted father. There’s this amazing little chapel, and you were determined to have your wedding there from the moment you spotted it. The only problem was that it was tiny, much too small to fit all of our family and friends in, so you convinced the minister there to let us set up a camera inside and put some chairs outside on the grounds. Then we broadcast the entire ceremony outside so that everyone could see it and join in.”


Still nothing came back to her. Why was she being refused to remember such a dear and momentous occasion in her life? It was so frustrating she wanted to smash the picture into a million pieces, but instead she placed it carefully back onto the mantelpiece.


“That was four years ago, and yes we were young, but we were also madly in love.”


Sara took a seat on one of the sofas, Callum sat down next to her, but not too close she noticed.


“So, is there anything else you’d like to know?”


“What do I do for an living?”


“Well, in case you can’t tell, you’re an interior decorator. All this is your work.” He gestured his arm around the room. “I have to say, you’re bloody good at it too.”


“Where do I work?”


“Well, you work from home, but you’re practically always out on visits to clients houses so you hardly spend any time here.”


Sara noticed it, even if Callum hadn’t. A hesitation in his speech when talking about her not spending much time here. At least she could say for certain that she was astute.


“What about this house?”


“What about it?”


“Who lives here?”


“Just us two, for about three and a half years.”


Sara paused. She studied his face. He continued to look just the tiniest bit evasive.


“And when was the last time you saw me?”


“You mean before the accident?” He briefly turned his head. “Well, it was just before you left this morning.”


“So I spent the night here?”


“Of course. We’re married, why wouldn’t we-“


Sara, in a moment that surprised even her, took the key she had been grasping in her pocket and pulled it out. She pounced onto a clearly surprised Callum, who tried to back away instinctively but not quickly enough, and grabbed him by the throat holding the metal object to his skin with anger written all over her body.


“What the hell?!” He tried to yell, struggling to get his words out.


“Why are you lying to me?”


“I’m not lying to you!”


“You’re doing it right now!” She poked the key a little further into his neck. He gulped and yelped in pain. “Do it again and I’ll draw blood! Now tell me again, why are you lying to me?”


“What makes you so sure I am?”


“The dirty plates and cutlery in the kitchen aren’t doubled up, the mostly empty fridge with ingredients that would suit the lifestyle of a batchelor not a married couple, the crap I had to clear off the passenger seat in the car when I got in earlier, even the way you talk. All of it make it bloody obvious that you and I aren’t living together. Even if you’d come up with a decent lie, like I’d been on holiday, I might’ve believed you! Luckily for me you’re a horrendous liar.”


In the excitement of her rant, Sara poked the tip of the key onto Callum’s windpipe and he yelped, so she moved it away.


“All right, all right! We don’t live together any more, we separated a couple of months ago!”


“Then why lie?”


“Because I still love you!”


If there was one answer she hadn’t been expecting, that had been it. Without even thinking about it, she relaxed her grip of Callum and shifted back in her seat, giving him some breathing room while he started to rub his neck with his hands.


“I had a chance to try and put things right again between us, that was the limit of my maliciousness.” He pushed himself further back from Sara on the sofa, slumping down on the very end. “It was out of the blue. You came home one evening, just laid it on me and told me you were fed up of us and you wanted to leave. I thought things were great between us, so of course I was shocked. You never even gave me a warning that anything was bothering you, I actually thought we were doing amazing so why you changed your mind so suddenly I have no idea.


“Then, a few weeks after just about convincing you that we should separate for a while rather than divorce, while I was still pretty messed up about the whole thing, I get a call from a doctor who tells me you were involved in an incident this morning. That you were ok but you might have trouble recollecting any memory from the past year, possibly longer. I just had this absolutely insane idea that if that were true, if you really didn’t know what happened, that maybe I could try and convince you that we were still together and that you’d settle right in to where we were before.”


Sara wondered how much of this were the genuine truth. If she had upped and abandoned him, there must have been a good reason to do so, and what was it?


“I didn’t plan it out like some villain; I just turned up, assessed the situation and thought I’d give it a try. I mean it just happened, what else could it have been other than a hasty decision? And what harm could I have possibly done? You loved me, at least you did at some point, so what I did I don’t believe was unethical, just trying to make sense of the situation. If you really didn’t love me you’d come to the same conclusion as you did originally, then at least it wouldn’t be so much of a surprise. Yes, it’s absolutely insane logic and a little bit unfair, but what you did was worse. You crushed my heart for no reason.”


At first Sara just sat there, absorbing all of his words. Callum sat opposite, looking at her. He still bore a red mark underneath his jawline but nothing that would last very long.


“So let me understand this.” Sara began, calm and unthreatening, in stark contrast to moments ago. “You genuinely thought there was a possibility that not only I would buy this illusion, but that I would never recollect anything from the past two months and that things would go back to what you call ‘normal’? Despite it being made clear that I wanted nothing to do with you?”


“In my defence, when you agreed to a separation, a part of me thinks you hadn’t completely dissolved this relationship.”


“That’s your justification for all of this?”


“No! I mean, I always knew it was destined for failure, but between my certainty that you still had some sort of feelings toward me before this morning and knowing that telling you the truth or leaving you on your own would have closed the book once and for all, I figured that I had nothing to lose. The thing is, I still love you, as much as I did when we first met. I always have and I thought you felt the same. Love makes you do crazy things.”


“Love? You’re using that as an excuse to absolve yourself of any guilt for doing all of this incredibly creepy stuff?”


“I’m not trying to abs-“


“Enough!” Screamed Sara, reacting as if she’d suddenly had her wick lit. Callum quietened almost instantly, shrinking back a little. “Just enough. I don’t need to hear any more from you today.”


Sara stood up quickly, and she casually slipped her keys back into her pocket. She knew this guy wouldn’t ever try anything on her after observing him for the past few minutes.


“If you thought there was a future for our relationship, I’m afraid to tell you that thanks to your little stunt today, there won’t be. Not now, not ever. I’m not staying here a second longer. I don’t know what stuff is mine or what’s yours, but I’m going to speak to a divorce lawyer who I’m sure will help me to work all of it out. Until that time, I don’t ever want to hear a single word from you ever again.”


Taking one look around the room, she headed out of the room and towards the front door.


“Please Sara!” Callum followed, his eyes now watering and clearly in some distress. “Don’t make rash decisions without understanding the last few years we spent together!”


“What difference will that make huh?” She responded with a little bite in her tone.


“If you find yourself, hours from now or even weeks, remembering the love you once felt for me, you’ll regret saying this. You might even understand why I did what I did!”


“If that’s even a possibility, I hope these memories never return.”


Sara opened the front door and slammed it shut before he had a chance to respond. And then she wondered where the hell she was going to go.


Next Chapter: CHAPTER ELEVEN